“When I awoke, I desperately wanted to fall asleep again.”

by Bec Fary

From guest-dreamer Hayley Tantau:

Last night I dreamt I was homeless. It seemed like reality, or like the games I used to play when I was young and I would create a barrier around myself with cushions. I was sitting on a corner outside a bank on Elizabeth Street in Melbourne and it was freezing. It was dawn, it was grey, and it started to drizzle. Every time a man walked past, I feared for my life, for my space. This is how those horror stories you read about begin. And every time a homeless person walked past, we shared a moment of compassion or camaraderie and I’m pretty sure one of the homeless guys gave me money.

I was curled up in my little nest of blankets in a big city that was already awake.

I had two cups in front of me, both full of silver coins. I’m not sure what I had done to acquire the money, nor do I know how long I had been sitting there, shivering under the tartan blankets.

Two young homeless boys approached me and tried to steal one of the cups, despite our eyes meeting. I watched as they conspired to rob me. One of the boys just stood there in front of me holding the cup, ready to run, and I told them to put the cup down. The boy complied. They were lost boys. I couldn’t see their future as grown ups. I decided to give them one of the plastic cups full of silver because, despite myself appearing poorer than the boys in the dream, fragments of my real life had kicked in and I told them that they were worse off than me. 6:30am was imminent. The lost boys deserved some of the money too.

The dream then shifted to a warm room where the young, wealthy girl I babysit was wearing my old Gorman clothes and I was trying to hide the fact that she was wearing my hand-me-downs. I’m not sure why she was wearing my oversized hand-me-downs, nor did she need them.

All of a sudden I was back outside the bank on Elizabeth Street, covered in blankets, shivering. People continued to pass by.

When I awoke, I desperately wanted to fall asleep again.

It was one of those rare occurrences where you desperately want to resume sleep so you can find out how the dream ends.

I wanted to know what happens to me.